“modesty obsessed stay at home wife”

Recently I learned that there is an online forum post in which Christian blogs are listed and insulted.  I am not familiar with the site enough to know what else is discussed there, but a particular thread was made and members commented on various Christian blogs, that strive to create wholesome content, were picked apart. Mine was on that list. I was described as a “modesty obsessed stay at home wife”.

At first I was bewildered. I mean, why are people discussing things like this?  What do they have against God-honouring blogs? I told David about it and he was angry that this had taken place.  He told me not to read that post or anything else on the site, so I didn’t. After thinking about it for a bit I realized that I, too, was angry.  Also confused. Hurt. Puzzled. I tried to shake it off and forget about it, but I couldn’t. The phrase modesty obsessed stay at home wife kept popping up in my mind. I thought that description of me was narrow minded, but then I realized…it was accurate.  I mean, it is pretty close to my blog tagline which is “inspiration for modest fashion and Christ-centred homemaking”.

Upon thinking about it even more I began to wonder why the authors of that post meant it as an insult.

I couldn’t be upset with them, because their description of me is exactly what I strive to portray through my blog.  I want people who read it to know that I value modesty as a form of respect for myself, God, and my husband.  I want people to know that I am a stay at home wife who makes home a priority.  It pleases me to know that my principles and values are obvious!

In case any of those ladies who wrote that comment, or participated in that thread, are reading this let me address the modesty part of your remark.  What is wrong with being desiring to live and dress in a modest way?  I am secure in my femininity and self confidence, so I don’t need to flaunt my body.  I respect myself enough to know that I don’t need to show myself off for validation. I have respect for God, so I am not going to act or dress in ways that draw the focus to myself.  I respect my husband so I am not going to dress for the attention of others.

In regards to being a stay at home wife: yes, I am one.  Being the keeper of my home is a true blessing, I know.  Not everyone who desires to be a homemaker is able to, but I am. I am not oppressed, or forced into this role.  I truly enjoy serving God and my husband through homemaking.  Yes, that is uncommon in today’s culture.  But I am okay with that.

As I said before, I had all sorts of negative feelings about what had been said about me. But now I realize I can see it as a compliment, rather than an insult.  It is proof that what I am doing is reaching people.  There will always be those that disagree with me and what I stand for, but I know that I am doing God’s work.

About Christina

20-something; rural dwelling; wife to David; homeowner; pretty good cook; wearer of skirts; friend to all cats.

18 comments on ““modesty obsessed stay at home wife”

  1. Christina, I had not heard of this online forum post. I truly do not understand why people feel they must make “negative ” comments. I enjoy your blog very much. I guess because I am a “modesty obsessed stay at home wife” too!
    Have a wonderful Sunday!

  2. Christina, you are so right. Take comfort in knowing that the “world” (perhaps some weak Christians?) Have attempted to insult you. The Bible says we are a peculiar people. I encourage you to stay strong in the Lord, keep blessing us with lessons you have learned the Bible and being the godly example set forth in Titus. Blessings to you and David this week.

  3. You must be doing something right if the world is insulting you (or at least THINKING there are)
    I love your blog!! :-)

  4. Christina, I’m truly sorry to hear about such hurtful remarks regarding your lovely blog. But the following came to mind, and I hope it makes you feel better!
    “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” (Matt.5:11-12)
    In His name,
    ~Helen

  5. Shake it off. Stick to your values and love the Lord. Pray for your”enemies”
    I am much older than you and I’ve been a stay at home mom. My sons are grown now and I am again a stay at home wife to my wonderful husband. I think you are doing as the Lord leads you and that is admirable.

  6. I think it shows that when we, as Christians, use words like “flaunt” or “show off” in describing how others choose to dress it makes them feel judged (not that you intended to do that). When we assert that WE feel confident enough not to dress a certain way, we seem to be implying that other people dress the way they do because they lack self-confidence. The same way you felt judged by them is how people feel the Church judges them. I don’t think we realize how much our good intentions can be seen as negative by others (I was once attacked on-line for helping at a soup kitchen because I “must” look down on the clients we serve) I think people on that forum are judging blogs based on stereotypes of modest Christian women and I know I have to guard against both succumbing to our secular culture (easier) and responding to it gracefully (much harder for me.)

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment and for pointing out my poor choice of words. I can see how using them may make me come across as self righteous. Definetly need to work on choosing better phrasing in the future!

  7. My husband constantly reminds me – “Just be yourself”. I often don’t know who that is. But I love to be seen as an individual, not just one of the herd. But standing out from the crowd means I think differently than most, so obviously they won’t all admire the way I think or what I do. So we can choose to huddle in our safe corner where no one will notice us or to “let our light shine”!

  8. All these reminds me about the end of time Jesus is comming soon people to get offensive by chhristian blogs is not a new thing Jesus message was too offensive to those people who didint want to stay away from sins so do our christian message by this time keep our light shinning in the darkness is important keep yours shinning sister.Im learning so much about your modest dressing may God continue to inspire you to inspire us thanks so much.

  9. Christina, I know well the forum of which you speak, and let me tell you, if you are blessed enough to be mentioned there, you are in good company and must be doing something right. I am there, my son is there, my mother-in-law is there, and many of my sweet blogging friends can be found there as well. Do not let it upset you, but use it to be courageous and stand firm. Keep shining Christ’s beautiful light. You are doing great work. 💜

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